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Why Your Team Sucks 2017
It's back!  Woot!

Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Cleveland Browns
God. Those 3 texts from Cleveland announcing the QBs killed me.
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Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Denver Broncos
Gotta admit, it's a highlight of preseason.
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Interesting to see that Shane Ray has a Chiefs tattoo.
Didn't post the Chargers one:

Quote:RIP San Diego Chargers 1960-2017. You will always be remembered fondly as the team that never won anything and had all its players die young.
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(08-24-2017, 07:44 AM)ChiefsChick23 Wrote: Didn't post the Chargers one:

Quote:RIP San Diego Chargers 1960-2017. You will always be remembered fondly as the team that never won anything and had all its players die young.

There's no Los Angeles team in the AFC West.  Pffft.
Heh.  Enjoy Tampa, ThePosterFormerlyKnownAsDallasChief.

Quote:Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area. The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus).
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(08-23-2017, 01:36 PM)NOLA Wrote: Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Denver Broncos

HAHAHA, they start out the post with the Doink!  HAHAHAHAHA!

Quote:Before you throw any Trust In Elway garbage at me, please remember that he was more than willing to pay Brock Osweiler $15M a year and only dodged that bullet because the Texans were slightly dumber. Every success of his is either the product of sheer luck, or of a pyramid scheme that has yet to be exposed. I’m onto you, Elway. I remember I’m no fool.

Quote:Also, Jamaal Charles is here.
Quote:“I’ve been trusting my knees,” Charles said after Tuesday’s practice.
Okay, but maybe you shouldn’t.

I don't wish Jamaal any harm.  But I hope the Chiefs were 100% correct in letting him hit the bricks, and I hope he realizes it quickly, too.

Reading the fan comments, it reminds me, honestly, of Chiefs fans, except their fans are dumber, uglier, and now legally more stoned.  And this guy's story is DELICIOUS.

Quote:I spent last Christmas up at my aunt and uncle’s house out in the country in southern Colorado. Long story short, my aunt broke her hip and arm and I decided to help my mom out in taking care of my aunt for a couple of weeks. Anyway, Christmas Day rolls around, and we’re getting pumped to watch the Broncos-Chiefs game that will let us squeeze into the playoffs if we win, when the power goes out. Turns out this is a frequent occurrence out there, high wind conditions snap a power line and because the local county power authority doesn’t give a fuck about the hillbillies and hippies-turned-yuppies that live out there, the power isn’t going to be restored until the next day.

I’m already freaking out because I’m a millennial that is literally addicted to the internet and can’t fathom an evening spent in quiet solitude with loved ones. There isn’t even the charm of candlelight because my uncle is a tech nerd and thus has nothing to start a fire, not even a leftover pack of matches or a barbeque lighter, nothing.

Luckily, my uncle manages to scrounge up a circa 1999-era boombox and the 90 or so D cell batteries needed to power the fucker, so at least we can listen to the game, with the hope that this will make up for spending Christmas like we’re in Little House on the Prairie. I was wrong.

Highlights include:

Trevor Siemian getting strip sacked at the three yard line and Russell Okung’s bumbling attempts to recover leading to a safety for the Chiefs.

A good run overturned by a flagrant holding call against Okung, which was the 900th time that season that Okung cost us good drives by being a fucking moron.

And of course, the cherry on the shit sundae, the infamous wildcat touchdown pass/Andy Reid trolljob by a 350 plus pound nose tackle, which I couldn’t even enjoy the novelty of the play due to it being on the radio.

So, our fledgling playoff hopes dashed and the only thing to comfort me being eggnog mixed with Rebel Yell bourbon, I proceed to pass out a couple hours later, cursing this franchise.

In closing, fuck Dontari Poe, fuck the Custer County Power, and fuck Russell Okung for being a worse left tackle than Michael Oher.
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Oh man.... oh man...

Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Oakland(ish) Raiders!

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